"HUH?!?"..my eyebrows do a high jump off my eyes..giving me the look of the dumbest guy on earth. "Oh!..umm..Je ne parle pas Français, Je parle Anglais..Merci!"..I say, as if reading a line, without emotion, out of a piece of paper.
"Zu you wont zamthing tu it?"
This is followed by me mumbling those ever-"gentle"-but-so-hard-to-pronounce names of my choice from the menu..I might have insulted some deities of some godforsaken places in the process..but she gets my point.
I have been lucky enough to have traveled often..mostly through Paris.For people who know, just as a reminder, my dad works for the airlines and that gives me the pleasure to exploit his freebies in the form of airline tickets. It also makes me one of the very few "esteemed" travelers who can afford to say "Champs-Élysées??..I'm bored of it now!"..For those who didn't know..it's time to be jealous..(OK..enough of the bragging already!..It's your dad's hard work for God's sake!..Thank you God..and dad. Wait..Did I mention I get to travel Business Class?.. :P)
While all these trips have been amazing and cherished there is one thread of anguish that binds them all..my shameful incompetence in French. I used to be as helpless as a fish out of water.
Talking about fish..I once remember a time I disgraced myself by leading a man to the fish market..He was actually only looking for a drink (Boisson)..when the mathematical literate in me thought he actually wanted a filet for lunch (Poisson)..all leading to the conclusion that I was "un imbécile!!"...ofcourse..
But there is always light at the end of the tunnel..in this case it's Franglish. Owing to the globalisation and..erm..the openness of the conservative minds these days there is a new language that the French and the "bloody ignorant tourist"s can converse in. Fairly simple of course if you know those elementary French words like magnifique or Aujourd'hui.
So, for example, one beautiful morning we can say: "Bonjour! Aujourd'hui magnifique day..
Believe me it works. One time I was nearly sweating at the prospect of spending a couple of days at my French host's, who knew as much English as I know French. I believe Franglish took me through those days like a dinghy in a storm..and kept me from being thrown out or laughed at. The children still ask their dad when the "Monsieur de l'Inde" who could pick them up and turn them upside down will be back again.
So you think I am sitting back, glad this "compromise" between languages works? No way. It has always been a childhood aspiration of mine to be able to speak a language besides Hindi, Marathi, English and ermm..Swahili :P..so French it is..It is my resolution that I shall learn it..online lessons and what not! At least to show that mocking French gentleman!
And then I won't heave a sigh of relief at leaving that country of romance..maybe I'll start blogging in French even!..But for now, as far as I can see, my next blog will be in Engalish for sure..Until then.."Au revoir!"
Arya Paturkar said...
Ne montrent pas de réduction Saurabh
April 1, 2008 at 12:04 AM
Saurabh said...
Shut up Arya. Je ne suis pas exhibant. Ceci est pour votre divertissement! Donc rire .. au lieu d'être jaloux!
April 1, 2008 at 5:05 AM
Arya Paturkar said...
Je suis Saurabh HAHAHAHAHA je suis mal rire
April 1, 2008 at 9:44 AM
ANT said...
Hey..
Is this what you get paid for.. Looks like worklife brings with it lots of free time.. that's encouraging for the students :-)
That was fun read by the way.
April 1, 2008 at 10:25 AM
dharma said...
bloody hell, u guys tortured me with hindi and now its french, mann it hurts not knowing more than 2 languages........
April 1, 2008 at 5:20 PM
Unknown said...
tres bien!!! :-) had tried learning french in sathaye...still trying!! ;-)
April 2, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Anonymous said...
your blogs are really nice man..keep it up
April 2, 2008 at 6:35 PM
Hiten Mehta said...
comment allez-vous, singe??
April 2, 2008 at 6:40 PM
Vamsi said...
pretty cool to read..feel like picking up a foreign language myself..spanish mayb???
April 4, 2008 at 7:11 AM
Saurabh said...
Arya...I'm gonna ignore you..
Ant...I know we used to get pissed when they called us Imaginary Engineers..but there is some truth in that term..realisation dawning!
Dharma...Yenna da!!
Hiten...thanks for giving me company in the "We suck at French" league..
April 4, 2008 at 8:50 AM
Bhagyesh said...
Bonne Chance! ;)
Lets see how good (or otherwise) your next trip to Champs-Elysees or the Louvre is, now that you'll be equipped with a new weapon - Langue Francaise!!
April 4, 2008 at 9:44 AM
malaylakhani said...
well, even i had learned some basics of one foreign language... TAMIL... or is it indian ?!!? .. doesnt matter ... to me it was quite similar to what french is to you .. vanakkam :D
April 6, 2008 at 6:01 AM
M said...
Hahahaha!
Firstly, I AM jealous of all the travelling that you get to do! pfffft!
Secondly, you thought 'boisson' meant fish?? LOL. That is hilarious! :D
I learnt french for a few months, but basic conversational french. Though learning the language and actually conversing in french is a whole different story. They speak so goddam fast.
I should go to France and put my ability to speak in french to a test...so any business class tickets you can send my way?? ;):P
July 9, 2009 at 10:01 PM