CRUMPLE THIS!

By the time you are done reading this you will probably think I hate my name..or atleast dislike it..and wonder why so. So that such a catastophe be avoided, I have to clarify that it is not so..I love my name..infact I think it's not just me who loves my name...it is surely loved by more than a million because it seems to be one of the most commonly used ones in our nation..Often I have heard a friend say: "You know I have this friend..whose name is also Saurabh by the way..who.."..There will always be another Saurabh in your life..

One of the things I have realised is how much I love it..especially after hearing it being massacred by the common American tongue..Call it out in a busy Mumbai street and no one will give you a second look..Unless ofcourse you are screaming it out on the top of your lungs and running faster than an average human being ( something of a scene when the prankster me used to love to do to friends and mess up their day)..But call it out here and you will get atleast ten pairs of (non-desi) eyes looking back at you with suspicion of abuse.

Then there is the aforementioned massacre..They are quite inventive I must say. For them I am : "Suraab , Surah , Suruba , Sauruub, Sohrbb"..and most times quite simply "YOU" as demonstrated by a colleague in a dialogue over phone that happened within a week of my first day at work:

"Hey Randy..Saurabh here..The tornado got pretty bad last night. Called in to make sure everyone at work is OK"

"Oh yes you bet. It did get bad..Thankfully everyone is fine..Who is this again?"

"This is Saurabh"

"??"

"SAURABH..The new..."

"Oh..It's YOU!..Yea Yea!..All's fine!..Thanks!"

It took Randy three weeks to get comfortable with my name. He takes it as an accomplishment when he gets it right directing people to the new guy's cubicle now. He even corrects them.

I keep thinking of new ways to make them get it right the first time they hear it. I can only get as close as "SAW-RUB"..."SORE -UB"..things I had written down on the little parchment they handed out to us before the degree convocation so that the announcer can get our names right. And yet..in that gathering of thousands of blessed souls..( I could also hear him snicker just as he took the parchment in his hand)..he messed it up..unconcerned..and moved on to the next..

I can't even cut it short..Like my friend Ramarathinam trims it conveniently to "Ram". Sometimes I think I should get an American name..like one of them Chinese guys..Sometimes..I just think maybe I'll learn to accept it's abuse or non-utterance..

I am at the salon..They have asked the customers to make entires of their names and arrival times...Half an hour goes by as my name draws closer..The lady checks the list..Her smile changes to a grimace and a puzzled look..She looks around...helpless...I give her my friendly, knowing smile..."That would be me..."